How to Wreck Your Own Birth Plan
- sarahdimarcodoula
- Jan 6, 2015
- 5 min read
If you’re planning a hospital birth, chances are there are a few things on your birth plan that are very important to you. You may prefer to let labor begin on its own, to delay the clamping of your baby’s umbilical cord, or you could even want to have your placenta released to you so you can have it encapsulated by a birth professional. Most women create some kind of written birth plan or at least have some preferences for their birth. So what do we do that wrecks that plan? Or better yet, what do we fail to do to ensure that we get the birth experience we want?
I was 18 when I was expecting my first child. I wanted an unmedicated birth, but somehow, I thought I could achieve that by only reading the ever popular “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and never questioning the decisions my doctor made for me. The decisions I made, or rather, didn’t make for myself, wrecked my plans. I ended up with an induction and an epidural. I didn’t know what to expect from my hospitals policies and I was terrified of birth! My story is a pretty common one for mothers of all ages. So, what are the mistakes I made and how can YOU avoid making them?
The Top 5 Mistakes Expectant Mothers Make that Wreck Their Birth Plans
1. Don't research your care provider.
No one wants to believe that their OB or Midwife would ever provide them with misleading information, but it’s important to try to confirm the information they’ve given you. One great way to do that is just to ask local birth professionals and other moms in your area. Now, more than ever, that’s one of the easiest things to do thanks to Facebook! You can very likely find several groups for moms and groups specifically for researching your options, like this one- DFW Birth Options.
Look for the red flags. Does your provider still practice based on outdated standards such as Friedman’s curve?* Does your provider have a high cesarean or intervention rate? When you told your provider you wanted an unmedicated birth, how did he react? A response such as, “Well I don’t know why you would want to put yourself through that, but sure, you can try to birth without an epidural”, doesn’t really show support. One of the biggest and brightest red flags I’ve seen is a doctor who tries to talk his patients out of or into certain procedures by providing biased or false information. Such as the doctor who explains that delayed cord clamping comes with more risks than benefits.
Choosing the right provider can make or break your birthing experience. Many mothers don’t want to switch providers, even if they see the red flags, because they don’t want to hurt the provider’s feelings or they feel they’ve developed a close connection with her. But you have to ask yourself- which is more important, having a healthy, happy birthing experience, or preserving a relationship you’ve had for just a few months? It’s also important to make sure that your OBs partners also practice with the same philosophy. We all know how highly unlikely it is that your own OB attend your birth, so you must make sure that her partners are also on board with the things on your plan.
2. Don't research your hospital.
So, you’ve chosen your provider and he’s supportive of you hiring a doula and wanting to take your placenta home. But what does your hospital say about those things? If you require an emergency cesarean, it’s not up to your OB to allow your doula in the operating room it’s up to the hospital. So call the director of maternity care and ask all of the same questions you asked your doctor. And get online to do your research. Ask the same moms and birth professionals about their experiences and check out this website to learn about your hospitals cesarean rates.
3. Don’t take a reliable (not hospital based) childbirth education class.
There are many fabulous books available to help you learn all about pregnancy and birth. I recommend Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and the Official Lamaze Guide. But nothing can prepare you like a good, well taught childbirth class. MotherMe Doulas on Call teaches a Lamaze Healthy Birth Class locally and there are many other classes you can choose from. It’s best to make sure that the class you take is taught by a private childbirth educator and is not based on the hospital’s policies. The classes taught in the hospital are often about “how to be a good patient” or “how to give birth in our hospital”, not about preparing you for unmedicated birth or learning about all of the options available to you.
4. Don’t hire a doula.
Studies have shown that women who use a doula are less likely to have a medically unnecessary cesarean and more likely to be satisfied with their birth.** Your doula’s job is to help you learn about your options and provide you with evidence based research to make the right decisions for you. If and when things come up during your labor that may stray from your birth plan, doulas encourage you to discuss all the options with your care provider so that even if you have to make choices that weren’t in the plan you’ll feel like you were part of the decision and you’ll be happier with your birth.
It’s your care provider’s job to make sure you and your baby are healthy and safe. But it’s your doula’s job to make sure you are happy with your birth! If you’re interested in doula services please us the contact form on this website to email me and set up a free consultation. Or, if you’re not in the DFW area, you can look here for a doula near you!
5. Don’t research the evidence for their birth choices that are important to you.
So, you love your doctor and your hospital and you’re confident that you’ll be supported for almost everything on your birth plan. Almost. So how do you get your doctor on board with that one last thing that’s important to you? Maybe it’s hiring a doula, or maybe it’s delayed cord clamping. Well, show her the evidence! There are so many great websites out there with articles on studies done on all of your options and choices for birth. Websites like Evidence Based Birth and Childbirth Connection are great resources with countless articles. But maybe you haven’t made those choices yet. Perhaps you’re considering a VBAC but you’re not sure if it’s safe. Those same websites and others like VBAC Facts can help you make the decisions you need to.
Every mother deserves to have the birth she desires. But you won’t get that birth simply by wishing for it. You must put in the work, do the research, and make the choices that will help you get the birth you want. Having support around you will help you feel empowered and confident to make the decisions that are right for you. Just remember that you are a strong and capable woman and you can have the birth of your dreams if you just put in the time and research to get it!
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